Smothered

My father was king of the castle.  Whatever he said went.  His control was complete and cruel and brutal.  He never needed a lot of persuasion to keep me in line since he'd all but smothered the life out of me.  I often wonder why I'm still alive.  My mother is not.  She endured a fifty year marriage to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  She had been an active, sociable woman who spent years dying alone under his control.  For myself, I've found it almost impossible to emerge from under his thumb.  I've been afraid of people and relationships and my experiences so far have justified my fear.  But things have finally begun to change.  Signs of life are all around me.