Slow Painting

Another slow painting.  Not so slow anymore.  I fell asleep after I did this one today.

A little girl wants to die

Last week I found on the internet a photo of a little girl in a bathing suit flying a kite.  I needed the photo for my sculpture mobile kite-home.  It's a happy picture of a girl by the water though she is totally alone.  For some reason this photo combined with some memories shared by others in the group last week and caused me to remember that when I was little I wanted to die.  Be dead.  However for pretty much my whole life I haven't known how to take action.  Things were done TO me not BY me.  I guess this is lucky in that I'm still alive.

Of course Grannie died and her death "put her out of her misery" according to my father.  Nothing else was ever said about her death.  I think I equated death with rest.  An end of suffering.  Which means that I did know that I was suffering though I don't remember that awareness.  I don't believe I ever thought you went anywhere after death though clearly Grannie thought so -- judging by the inscription on the tombstone.  But we were able to visit her there in the cemetery at Christmas.  And I still do sometimes.

Sculpture & Assemblage

My sculpture and assemblage classes are a lot the same though I much prefer assemblage which is more about using found objects rather than making them.  I'm not good at making things.  I've redone my kite and made a little scene to explain my idea.  I just need to assemble it in the next class.  My altered book for assemblage is almost done.  I removed all the text and cut holes in the pages so that the pictures below come through in odd ways.  I like it.

Still Life (Old Masters' palette) Again

In painting class we added colour to the underpainting from last week.  The teacher gave me advice on my focal point and the composition verticals and horizontals.  This is a bigger painting than I've done before and I think I'm making progress.  (The second picture is from first term.)

Puppy

Here's a first picture of me with a Yorkshire terrier puppy.  I remember sitting in the kitchen on Brookdale when we brought home the lab puppy -- and she came to me.  I expect that sealed the deal for S -- that I must be sabotaged in my efforts to connect with the dog.  But with my new puppy, I'll be in charge.  That's why I pictured me sitting on the floor.  As soon as I drew the puppy I wondered why I didn't picture me holding him -- but I didn't change it.  I guess I need to get to know him first.  Of course.  That is, IF I get a puppy.  But I think I will.

Whenever a cat walked by ...

In the early morning a few days ago I remembered something my mother once said and was suddenly struck by a connection with the picture I did of all the big cats in a cage.  My mother said that I would cry whenever a cat walked by my playpen.  I have no memory of being in a play pen but it sure reminds me of the cage I drew last week.  And I don't expect my mother investigated or did anything to prevent cats coming by me.  And I have to wonder if a cat ever came in with me and terrified me.  I would be trapped with a cat.  I am still afraid of being trapped -- by a cat or anything else scary like men.  In addition and perhaps even worse perhaps I learned in that play pen never to expect any help from my mother.

Life Drawing

In drawing class the teacher has to deal with students at two levels.  Last week second term students like me were left for ages doing one minute poses.  Later she taught our group a first step in shading and she taught all of us about knees.  Here are some of my drawings.

Yorkshire terriers!

I spoke on the phone last night to the woman who runs Kingcreek Kennels in Huntsville.  I'm certain that if I get a puppy it will be from her.  I'm also pretty certain I'll get a puppy.  How about a male Yorkie in June or July?  How about Fergus?

Here are some photos from the Kingcreek website.  I have confidence in their dogs.  Also I discovered that they have the kennels in Huntsville and a condo on Broadway in Toronto.  That's the street my Grannie lived on!  And Grannie had a cairn terrier from the Duke of Argyle that got me onto tiny terriers.

Still Life (Old Masters' palette) Again

I spoke to my teacher before Painting class yesterday.  I want to do the same series of exercises again and listen to his instruction and comments.  He agreed with my idea.

Week two and three is a still life beginning with the underpainting and composition.  Later colour is added starting at the focus which means you have to know where to find the focus.  I slowed down and worked on the composition and worked on the shadows.  It's very calm in painting class and I don't know until I leave how draining it is as well.  But in a good way!

In the fall term I missed the second class because I was in New York so I did the still life in one day during the third class.

Compare and contrast the two terms!

Kite as mobile home?!

I've now had two sculpture classes.  Very reminiscent of Collage on the same day in the afternoon.  Our current project is to make a mobile home.  Mine is a kite that flies along with you and then turns into a tent.

Here are a few sketches and a trial mock-up.

Posemaniacs

In Drawing class last week the teacher said that ten minutes each day on Posemaniacs would do more good than a few hours on Sunday.  Practice!  So, I've been on Posemaniacs a few times this week.  It's fun!

Batik

In Art History this week I tried batik.  Emphasis on TRY.  I had no idea what the results would be.

Here are my first four attempts.

Locked Up

All those huge cats.  Feelings, memories, whatever.  Maybe if they're locked up together in a cage I can look at them safely and figure something out.

Light & Shadow 2

Painting class this term will be identical to last term for the new students.  Today I did the first exercise again to warm up.  The teacher will help me pick a project but I also want to repeat more of the exercises -- especially the still life and the life painting.

Guess which one I did today and which was my very first acrylic painting.

Drawing is performance

I've finished my first week of the new TSA term.  Already I have tons of new things to think about.  My project in Art History might relate to Charles Rennie Macintosh who came up this week in Art Nouveau.  I've picked out a book to alter in Assemblage.  I need to think up some type of mobile home to make for Sculpture.  Each class has new and returning students which makes it interesting.

The drawing teacher said that drawing is performance.  It requires practice.  The class is the piano lesson and ten minutes a day at home would do wonders.  The website Posemaniacs is good for that if I can get myself to do it.

Here are a couple quick drawings to show how rusty I was.

The teacher suggested that I use the side of the conte stick and generally work much more lightly.  Later she showed me how to do knees.  She thought my drawing was immediately more free with her way of holding the conte.  She also thought I'd done very well for the first day back.

Nightmare Cheetah

I had another big cat dream.  This time there was at cheetah in my parents' living room.  I saw it from the doorway.  My parents and brothers were in the room.  (I think these dreams refer to the time when there were only five of us.)  I was terrified of the cheetah.  I see also that I wasn't exactly part of the family group.  My brother tried to shoo it away.  I called to him to stop and don't try it because "Cheetahs are the worst."   By that I meant that they were the scariest and most deadly.

Actually cheetahs are the fastest animal on land.  This fits with my feelings about my father.  Fast and scary.  I remember him chasing that same brother through the living room and up the stairs.  I keep recalling his hand suddenly reaching out to enclose my golf ball and move it to make the game easier for incompetent me.  I coloured the cheetah in black and orange which reminds me of Halloween and my father's birthday on the 30th.

Back to the dream -- the cheetah moved along the front hall toward the kitchen door.  I came around into the kitchen the other way.  My brother followed.  I was having a lot of trouble keeping the door shut.  The cheetah stuck his head around the door and ate the cat food from bowls there on the floor.  Finally the cheetah went out the front door.


This picture from the internet really gives me the creeps.

More Slow

I did this one yesterday after a fun afternoon skating at Harbourfront.  I was just thinking that I could change things by preparing different colours before I start painting.  Next time.

Slow Painting

Slow painting continues!  I love it.  And I've realized that another aspect of slow is how the picture changes as it dries -- and it's not the boring joke about watching paint dry.  Because after I've done my bit the picture keeps on cooking and comes out more beautiful.  Here's another from yesterday.

Silky Terriers

I've been thinking about getting a puppy for over ten years -- ever since I lost contact with the only dog I've ever known.  That is, Farley the crazy chocolate lab.  Of course she was crazy because she lived in a home with two adults in a really bad relationship.  But I've missed her.

I first thought I'd get a Cairn Terrier like Grannie had in Scotland.  Her dog was named Carlo and was given to her by the Duke of Argyle.  I know nothing more than that.  I can guess that it was a gift to the kids after their father died when Grannie was three.  I know that Inverary Castle is where the Duke lives and that it's just around Loch Fyne from Cairndow.

I started to get the idea that Cairns are quite a handful as all terriers are.  So more recently I've thought about Yorkshire Terriers.  Yorkies are much smaller and can pretty much live inside if that's what you want.  But they have all that hair!  And they're quite delicate.

Last week I bought the Puppy Annual for 2011 where I found a breeder in Huntsville.  Their place is called Kingcreek Kennel though there is no kennel -- the dogs all live with them.  They breed toy dogs only -- Yorkies and Shih Tzus and Silky Terriers.  I'd never heard of Silky Terriers.  Silkies were originally bred in Australia.  They're a bit bigger when grown -- 10 pounds to the 7 of the Yorkie -- and hardier.  And so cute!

So I think I've found the place where my dog might come from.  Huntsville, Ontario.  But do I dare do it?  And why not?  Fear, of course.  Not the terror of cats but the terror of not being able to care for a creature that needs my help completely.  Can I handle the needs of a tiny living body -- cutting nails, clearing goop from eyes, trimming hair around the behind and all the things that come out?  I wish I'd done a lot better with Farley but I seem to want to try again.

Here's a picture I took from the Kingcreek website of a Silky Terrier puppy.

The puppy above is a bit older than the one below.  The one below is supposed to be the size and look of a puppy ready to go to a new home.

This is an adult male Silky Terrier.