Ashamed

Colonel Russell Williams said at his sentencing that he was "indescribably ashamed" at what he had done.  Also that he had confessed to his crimes to make things less difficult for his wife.

I'm not surprised he would speak of his wife in this way.  However I expect that his real worry was not about his wife but about appearing to be a gentleman.

Colonel Williams is so familiar to me.  He's so like my father.

Williams is being described as a psychopath.  Those things (88) he did that shamed him so much and which he didn't want to be a bother to his wife were two horribly cruel and sadistic murders, multiple sexual assaults, theft of countless women's underwear, photographing assaults and murders and himself in the underwear ...  On and on.

Horror.  All the while living the a life of a respected top soldier and pilot.

He was most afraid of losing face -- he was ashamed.

Bad boy!  Too creepy.

I think of my father bringing flowers to my mother on holidays and anniversaries.  But only much later in life so that his daughters-in-law thought he was such a fine husband.  And the jewellery he bought which my mother never wanted.  He had some rote learning of what women are supposed to like and want but had no idea who his wife or children were.